Is it coincidence that your ex and your current were mates,a long
time ago and just happened to meet,or all the people you fall for and
you are smitten,are married, engaged or taken,or your greatest enemy has
the cure to your disease,the feet you swore never to kiss,is it by
chance that you bite the hand that feeds you,and you shun away those who
care for you,you fall in love with the son to your father's arch
enemy,yeah love knows no boundaries,you collapse right before the finish
line,and you are in prison doing time,for a mistaken identity,or a
crime u didnt commit.,and how everything you say counts bigtime,and
comes to bite u in the a$* later in your lifetime,and the tears and hurt
you cause,whatever the intent and purpose,you will bleed in the same
vein,the same tears and pain.
Friday, 26 April 2013
Monday, 4 February 2013
ACCEPTING DEFEAT
Posted on 22:04by Unknown with No comments
too much to do,February is here.
Am glad that January is done. Frankly i didnt see it come and go. Nowadays i am so busy with my last semester of school, frantically trying to raise my G.P.A. Ive always been a last minute birdie, Safe to say that i think im on the right track in my life. There is nothing i would do differently if given the chance..
Ive never had so much on my plate,theres rent, water bills and electricity bills to pay.Theres the search for a job.Theres school to take care of..theres this theres that.
I had hoped that 2013 will be the year that i make great strides in my personal branding and im still to experience my BIGBREAK.Things come and go. Opportunities slip from my fingers.Opportunities that i thought would catapult me to the good life. But this life is riddled with surprises.My mother does not understand why im hunting for good things. She keeps me sane, she tells me not to be consumed with chasing fame,fortune and money, but rather to pray about it and if it was meant to be it will be.
Im not one to take a backseat and watch things happen,you see i wanna take charge of my life,i am too agressive.If i dont get what i want and im broken and torn, She just tells me that lifes like that. She tells me that i should learn to accept failure and you see thats the hardest thing to do... with GODS grace im learning slowly that i cant always get what i want,but that doesnt mean that ill sit there and wallow in my loss.
Its funny how you continue learning stuff,making yourself better at what you do as life goes by...
I hope in future ill be able to handle failure,try again and again till i get it right and i hope that you will also do that, Dont beat yourself up if things dont go your way today, You can try again tommorow till you just get it right.contentment is wealth
Am glad that January is done. Frankly i didnt see it come and go. Nowadays i am so busy with my last semester of school, frantically trying to raise my G.P.A. Ive always been a last minute birdie, Safe to say that i think im on the right track in my life. There is nothing i would do differently if given the chance..
Ive never had so much on my plate,theres rent, water bills and electricity bills to pay.Theres the search for a job.Theres school to take care of..theres this theres that.
I had hoped that 2013 will be the year that i make great strides in my personal branding and im still to experience my BIGBREAK.Things come and go. Opportunities slip from my fingers.Opportunities that i thought would catapult me to the good life. But this life is riddled with surprises.My mother does not understand why im hunting for good things. She keeps me sane, she tells me not to be consumed with chasing fame,fortune and money, but rather to pray about it and if it was meant to be it will be.
Im not one to take a backseat and watch things happen,you see i wanna take charge of my life,i am too agressive.If i dont get what i want and im broken and torn, She just tells me that lifes like that. She tells me that i should learn to accept failure and you see thats the hardest thing to do... with GODS grace im learning slowly that i cant always get what i want,but that doesnt mean that ill sit there and wallow in my loss.
Its funny how you continue learning stuff,making yourself better at what you do as life goes by...
I hope in future ill be able to handle failure,try again and again till i get it right and i hope that you will also do that, Dont beat yourself up if things dont go your way today, You can try again tommorow till you just get it right.contentment is wealth
Saturday, 12 January 2013
THE FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN
Posted on 21:57by Unknown with No comments
Suddenly my life is riddled with so much FEAR. A FEAR that i cant ignore. A fear that whispers coldly to me and sends shivers down me. I dont know what the future holds. A lot of my experiences are influenced by the little decisions that i make. I might chose to ignore that beckoning call to duty. I might chose to take an entirely different path in life and drop everything that I have worked so much for. I might decide to change my behaviour, prioritise and chase different things...
See, I decide if my curent life makes me happy. And Im feeling a certain thrill lately because i surround myself with people who love me and treat me right. This is the happiest I've been in a long time. Happiness is what you feel when you are contented with what you have. Is happiness a state of mind? Are we constantly unhappy because we keep searching for more. We fail to see what we have within our grasp and start looking for more. a MORE that is just an illusion.
The fear of what tommorow will bring. Everyone goes through that. All we have to do today is live our lives right and try to be the happiest we can be.Im at a point where the future is bleak. I cant see the horizon. Im just walking on a road wondering whats this life for.
Should i have studied for that cource. Should i have said this. Should i have done that? Should i have signed up for this? Should i have bought that dress?
So many questions riddle me. But i guess the beauty of life is TAKING CHANCES and MAKING CHANGES and then sitting back and seeing the results. Whispering in the semi darkness of a candle as you sip on some instant coffee in your small little house. In a not so busy street. Self analysing as you jot some pointers on an old journal you got from a friend.Sitting on your creaky bed that needs a change of sheets. Wondering where you would be if you gave that deal a shot.If only you tried more.Maybe you would be somewhere else sipping wine from a tall glass.Typing your sentiments instead of scribbling them on a dirty dog-eared journal.These streets dont love you.
Young business mogul, I think its time you got a little family,you cant be alone forever. Buy her some flowers and buy some old wine and invite her over. You dont have to take her to an exotic island just to propose to her. She will say yes anyway and shes been waiting for you to ask.
And you young lady take a chance because you want him to be the father of your little babies .You know he is the right man for you because he will never hit you and he will treat you like the queen you are.
Father of three,you have always wanted to study law but you feel you are too old,what will people say? Will you pay for your tution fees or your kids? By the time you are done, you will be in your late fourties. Do what your heart desires and take a chance.Your wife and kids will understand if they love you.
You want to start that magazine but you fear for it to be a flop. Will you have enough content. Is your team strong enough? Rome wasnt built in a day girl. Take your time and learn the ropes, YOU JUST MIGHT MAKE IT.
See, I decide if my curent life makes me happy. And Im feeling a certain thrill lately because i surround myself with people who love me and treat me right. This is the happiest I've been in a long time. Happiness is what you feel when you are contented with what you have. Is happiness a state of mind? Are we constantly unhappy because we keep searching for more. We fail to see what we have within our grasp and start looking for more. a MORE that is just an illusion.
The fear of what tommorow will bring. Everyone goes through that. All we have to do today is live our lives right and try to be the happiest we can be.Im at a point where the future is bleak. I cant see the horizon. Im just walking on a road wondering whats this life for.
Should i have studied for that cource. Should i have said this. Should i have done that? Should i have signed up for this? Should i have bought that dress?
So many questions riddle me. But i guess the beauty of life is TAKING CHANCES and MAKING CHANGES and then sitting back and seeing the results. Whispering in the semi darkness of a candle as you sip on some instant coffee in your small little house. In a not so busy street. Self analysing as you jot some pointers on an old journal you got from a friend.Sitting on your creaky bed that needs a change of sheets. Wondering where you would be if you gave that deal a shot.If only you tried more.Maybe you would be somewhere else sipping wine from a tall glass.Typing your sentiments instead of scribbling them on a dirty dog-eared journal.These streets dont love you.
Young business mogul, I think its time you got a little family,you cant be alone forever. Buy her some flowers and buy some old wine and invite her over. You dont have to take her to an exotic island just to propose to her. She will say yes anyway and shes been waiting for you to ask.
And you young lady take a chance because you want him to be the father of your little babies .You know he is the right man for you because he will never hit you and he will treat you like the queen you are.
Father of three,you have always wanted to study law but you feel you are too old,what will people say? Will you pay for your tution fees or your kids? By the time you are done, you will be in your late fourties. Do what your heart desires and take a chance.Your wife and kids will understand if they love you.
You want to start that magazine but you fear for it to be a flop. Will you have enough content. Is your team strong enough? Rome wasnt built in a day girl. Take your time and learn the ropes, YOU JUST MIGHT MAKE IT.
Friday, 11 January 2013
THINKING OUT LOUD
Posted on 22:04by Unknown with No comments
This is a small post to usher in the new year. It is different since it is free of sarcasm. Its solemn and deep as opposed to my other posts. Its more of a prayer. I was thinking out loud.
New year, New mentality, New way of doing things...New year comes with huge a&$ resolutions and a new drive for life. Iwont lie to you that I dont feel a certain rush,a tingle in my body a new drive to life, see 2013 is the year for me...I know this is cliche and probably everyone expects greatness and they expect the earth to move from below them but I keep it simple.
This is the year where I will complete my Bachelors degree if all goes well. I believe in miracles and Im praying for one. I believe that I wont tarmac because the search for employment is consuming. Its like looking for a needle in a haystack. I believe that there is something out there that I can do with all my soul given the chance and Im going to find it this year...I want to travel someday,I want to go to South Africa or Namibia .A girl can dram,there is no limit to what you can dream. I was reading a book called "The Secret" over my December holidays when i was upcountry with my parents. This book gave me the drive to life and i want to exercise the power of belief. I want to concentrate on my dreams this year and see if the universe brings it to me.
Thats a little prayer for 2013.
Thursday, 13 December 2012
GIVING THANKS
Posted on 11:54by Unknown with No comments
2012 was a year riddled with a lot of
eventful days for me. Like my birthday on 20th january my
friends took me out, valentines day
sucked becauseI spent it alone but im a strong girl I came out alive.
But on the other hand, a lot of
beautiful things happened this year, I fell in love and started this amazing
blog among other things. This has been one of those years that has been slow
but sure,like a cake without icing,maybe a cherry on top but yet the cake
seemed to leave a lasting taste in my mouth, lasting and lingering,like the
better part of the year 2012…
Well its too early to start writing
about 2012 like its gone,infact we are
awaiting Christmas but Christmas for me isn’t in the carols and fairs
and promotions . its being in the countryside
around the people who made me who I am today.
I remember how xmas was as a kid,it hasn’t
been the same since. Its funny how
things fade away as the years pass, like
morality and ethics, and what happened to kids playing in backyards?what
happened to cops and robbers and little boys holding waterguns and footballs
made of polythene bags and sisal ropes.
The little pleasures of life, the memories…ive learnt to
appreciate the little things I have because I don’t know how long I have them
for. Every breath I breathe,every soul I touch I appreciate.
Monday, 10 December 2012
THIS TRAIN
This blog is supposed to represent me as a brand, as a writer and not as a poet not a spoken word artist or a performer. I once tried poetry and discovered that my lines didn't make sense or rather i was trying too much to rhyme. I was engrossed in the revolution,the floetry, wearing hoodies and baggy jeans .
that's not me, i am not hip hop.i am not ruff rugged and raw, that's not my brand, i don't aim to settle the scores on saliva soaked mics and sweat stained chains, i don't wear sneakers anymore.I am not hip hop.
I am supposed to write in my own style that represents me as an individual , i an supposed to be defiant, i am supposed to be hip hop, i am supposed to do many things but yet i don't do them... no offence to my hip hop lovers i do love hip hop,infact i listened to biggie and 2pac,who am i kidding even the non hip hoppers know biggie and 2pac but ask them about Run DMC, Common, NAS, and lost boys and they will be changing the subject. Its like someone claiming to love rock simply coz they listen to Avril and Linkin Park, i mean please give it a rest..The world is litered by posers but that is a post for another day.
This blog was supposed to emancipate me from mental slavery,non but ourselves can free our mind, and no i just didnt recite a bob marley song in an attempt to sound deep...It was supposed to cure me of my introvert syndrome.i called it syndrome because i couldnt call it disease. disease sounds so ugly and unidentified. so far its helping, atleast i can talk to people and ask them pertinent questions like, what gets you up in the morning, what keeps you going.. and its funny how this questions elicit mixed responses from people . some stupid and some downright smart.
so i once got on a stage with an established spoken word artists, i had practiced lines that i had written myself on crumpled paper but i ended up making up lines that didnt make sense. that was the day i decided that spoken word,floetry,poetry,hiphop and rapping arent my thing,im more good at writing normal articles and blogposts like these...
However i have love and respect for all the artists out there who make it happen and who dont let the stage fright get to them.those who possess the mic,those who own their lines and those who conquer the floor...i attend these events and i cant help but admire the art...so today i take a moment to appreciate you all for all you do.
that's not me, i am not hip hop.i am not ruff rugged and raw, that's not my brand, i don't aim to settle the scores on saliva soaked mics and sweat stained chains, i don't wear sneakers anymore.I am not hip hop.
I am supposed to write in my own style that represents me as an individual , i an supposed to be defiant, i am supposed to be hip hop, i am supposed to do many things but yet i don't do them... no offence to my hip hop lovers i do love hip hop,infact i listened to biggie and 2pac,who am i kidding even the non hip hoppers know biggie and 2pac but ask them about Run DMC, Common, NAS, and lost boys and they will be changing the subject. Its like someone claiming to love rock simply coz they listen to Avril and Linkin Park, i mean please give it a rest..The world is litered by posers but that is a post for another day.
This blog was supposed to emancipate me from mental slavery,non but ourselves can free our mind, and no i just didnt recite a bob marley song in an attempt to sound deep...It was supposed to cure me of my introvert syndrome.i called it syndrome because i couldnt call it disease. disease sounds so ugly and unidentified. so far its helping, atleast i can talk to people and ask them pertinent questions like, what gets you up in the morning, what keeps you going.. and its funny how this questions elicit mixed responses from people . some stupid and some downright smart.
so i once got on a stage with an established spoken word artists, i had practiced lines that i had written myself on crumpled paper but i ended up making up lines that didnt make sense. that was the day i decided that spoken word,floetry,poetry,hiphop and rapping arent my thing,im more good at writing normal articles and blogposts like these...
However i have love and respect for all the artists out there who make it happen and who dont let the stage fright get to them.those who possess the mic,those who own their lines and those who conquer the floor...i attend these events and i cant help but admire the art...so today i take a moment to appreciate you all for all you do.
WHATS THIS LIFE FOR
Posted on 00:33by Unknown with No comments
Whats this life for if im going to sit here waiting for my dreams to happen, whats the use if ill watch other people making it while i sit here wallowing.....a child is crying somewhere in the heart of a forest because someone abandoned it, a person lies in hospital because of some reckless driver, a bomb explodes near a church and scores of people are scampering..you couldn't make it top of your class,you couldn't make sales and your business is crumbling,its two days to payday and you're trying to make ends meet, you are pregnant and you don't know how you will handle it...
Life is full of endless worries,just when you think you solved all your problems another one crops up. Its annoying, you cant sit still. you cant have no care in the world, a lot of questions pass through our minds in an instant..
Is this baby mine?
will the cure work?
Can i make it for the auditions.
Did anyone see me?
Can i afford this lifestyle?
Am i pregnant?
does she love me?
am i fat?
will he win the election?
will i make it in time?
So many problems bedevil us,worrying does not make our problems disappear.It just makes us restless,sweaty and it makes our hearts beat faster,worry makes us panic,it makes us confused.
Think about this,what if you didn't worry too much,somehow things fall into place at the end of the day. you can deal with your problems when the time arises to do them.
This is the mantra i have been living by for the last three months and somehow i made it. in three days time i will go for an acting audition. I have never acted before but i have thought about it a couple of times. Its the things that are in your bucket list. so i am rehearsing my lines and hope that my baby face will pass for early twenties(after all im 23).I also hope that my heels will conceal my shortness.
I promise not to chicken out, i might as well do something crazy before the year ends...
Life is full of endless worries,just when you think you solved all your problems another one crops up. Its annoying, you cant sit still. you cant have no care in the world, a lot of questions pass through our minds in an instant..
Is this baby mine?
will the cure work?
Can i make it for the auditions.
Did anyone see me?
Can i afford this lifestyle?
Am i pregnant?
does she love me?
am i fat?
will he win the election?
will i make it in time?
So many problems bedevil us,worrying does not make our problems disappear.It just makes us restless,sweaty and it makes our hearts beat faster,worry makes us panic,it makes us confused.
Think about this,what if you didn't worry too much,somehow things fall into place at the end of the day. you can deal with your problems when the time arises to do them.
This is the mantra i have been living by for the last three months and somehow i made it. in three days time i will go for an acting audition. I have never acted before but i have thought about it a couple of times. Its the things that are in your bucket list. so i am rehearsing my lines and hope that my baby face will pass for early twenties(after all im 23).I also hope that my heels will conceal my shortness.
I promise not to chicken out, i might as well do something crazy before the year ends...
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