GIVING THANKS

2012 was a year riddled with a lot of eventful days for me. Like my birthday on 20^th january my friends  took me out, valentines day sucked  becauseI spent it alone but im a strong girl I came out alive.

But on the other hand, a lot of beautiful things happened this year, I fell in love and started this amazing blog among other things. This has been one of those years that has been slow but sure,like a cake without icing,maybe a cherry on top but yet the cake seemed to leave a lasting taste in my mouth, lasting and lingering,like the better part of the year 2012…

Well its too early to start writing about 2012 like its gone,infact we are  awaiting Christmas but Christmas for me isn’t in the carols and fairs and promotions . its being in the countryside  around the people who made me who I am today.

I remember how xmas was as a kid,it hasn’t been the same  since. Its funny how things fade  away as the years pass, like morality and ethics, and what happened to kids playing in backyards?what happened to cops and robbers and little boys holding waterguns and footballs made of polythene bags and sisal ropes.

The little pleasures of life, the memories…ive learnt to appreciate the little things I have because I don’t know how long I have them for. Every breath I breathe,every soul I touch I appreciate.

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THIS TRAIN

This blog is supposed to represent me as a brand, as a writer and  not as a poet not a spoken word artist or a performer. I once tried poetry and discovered that my lines didn't make sense or rather i was trying too much to rhyme. I was engrossed in the revolution,the floetry, wearing hoodies and baggy jeans .
that's not me, i am not hip hop.i am not ruff rugged and raw, that's not my brand, i don't aim to settle the scores on saliva soaked mics and sweat stained chains, i don't wear sneakers anymore.I am not hip hop.
I am supposed to write in my own style that represents me as an individual , i an  supposed to be defiant, i am supposed to be hip hop, i am supposed to do many things but yet i don't do them... no offence to my hip hop lovers i do love hip hop,infact i listened to biggie and 2pac,who am i kidding even the non hip hoppers know biggie and 2pac but ask them about Run DMC, Common, NAS, and lost boys and they will be changing the subject. Its like someone claiming to love rock simply coz they listen to Avril and Linkin Park, i mean please give it a rest..The world is litered by posers but that is a post for another day.
This blog was supposed to emancipate me from mental slavery,non but ourselves can free our mind, and no i just didnt recite a bob marley song in an attempt to sound deep...It was supposed to cure me of my introvert syndrome.i called it syndrome because i couldnt call it disease. disease sounds so ugly and unidentified. so far its helping, atleast i can talk to people and ask them pertinent questions like, what gets you up in the morning, what keeps you going.. and its funny how this questions elicit mixed responses from people . some stupid and some downright smart.
so i once got on a stage with an established spoken word artists, i had practiced lines that i had written myself on crumpled paper but i ended up making up lines that didnt make sense. that was the day i decided that spoken word,floetry,poetry,hiphop and rapping arent my thing,im more good at writing normal articles and blogposts like these...
However i have love and respect for all the artists out there who make it happen and who dont let the stage fright get to them.those who possess the mic,those who own their lines and those who conquer the floor...i attend these events and i cant help but admire the art...so today i take a moment to appreciate you all for all you do. 

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WHATS THIS LIFE FOR

Whats this life for if im going to sit here waiting for my dreams to happen, whats the use if ill watch other people making it while i sit here wallowing.....a child is crying somewhere in the heart of a forest because someone abandoned it, a person lies in hospital because of some reckless driver, a bomb explodes near a church and scores of people are scampering..you couldn't make it top of your class,you couldn't make sales and your business is crumbling,its two days to payday and you're trying to make ends meet, you are pregnant and you don't know how you will handle it...
Life is full of endless worries,just when you think you solved all your problems another one crops up. Its annoying, you cant sit still. you cant have no care in the world, a lot of questions pass through our minds in an instant..
Is this baby mine?
will the cure work?
Can i make it for the auditions.
Did anyone see me?
Can i afford this lifestyle?
Am i pregnant?
does she love me?
am i fat?
will he win the election?
will i make it in time?
So many problems bedevil us,worrying does not make our problems disappear.It just makes us restless,sweaty and it makes our hearts beat faster,worry makes us panic,it makes us confused.
Think about this,what if you didn't worry too much,somehow things fall into place at the end of the day. you can deal with your problems when the time arises to do them.
This is the mantra i have been living by for the last three months and somehow i made it. in three days time i will go for an acting audition. I have never acted before but i have thought about it a couple of times. Its the things that are in your bucket list. so i am rehearsing my lines  and hope that my baby face will pass for early twenties(after all im 23).I also hope that my heels will conceal my shortness.
I promise not to chicken out, i might as well do something crazy before the year ends...

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